In this day and age, every day is "National _____ Day." There's everything from Ice Cream Day to Daughter's Day (actually, there are TWO Daughter's Days). In the scheme of things, everybody gets more than one day to be honored, but there's one person left out.

We got an email about a year ago that spurred the conversation that led to the first declaration of a "Men's Day."

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Ryan McVay
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A conversation spawned from our listener, Jason, who pointed out after our discussion about Daughter's Day and whether or not you actually need to make social media posts and do something special for your daughters or not, that men don't get a special day just for them.

"Dear Dorks,

Prove me wrong. There is NO holiday for men. They are ALL for women and children. Even Father's Day. Yes, sure, Father's Day, the sympathy holiday of all sympathy holidays. Unlike Mother's Day when the sentiment is to give Mom a break and get her some flowers, Father's Day is a day of cookouts and house guests that actively involves dad. See, no holidays for men.

-Jason"

This led us to declare the first Wednesday of October as "Men's Day." Why? Because "Wednesday" rhymed with "Men's Day," and we didn't have anything going on that day.

This year, Men's Day falls on October 4th. It's a day for us not to be objectified. Remember ladies, our eyes are up here.

Check out this clip from September 2022, when Men's Day was declared:

Here's the goal: A day for you as a man to do absolutely nothing. Break that glass ceiling, don't make plans, don't let your spouse plan, and just let it be a day for you to take a deep breath in your crazy life of working, providing, and parenting.

Too loud sound.
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After the declaration, Jason went to work, furiously and feverishly putting together a list of rules to help keep "Men's Day" for the Men.

The Official Commandments of Men’s Day

  1. To be celebrated on the first Wednesday of October. A midweek day is less likely to be hijacked by family events, and increases the odds of an empty house, giving the man more options on how he spends the day.
  2. Speak very little about Men’s Day. There are forces aligned against the celebration of Men’s Day, whether you realize it or not. These forces want to deny the legitimacy of the celebration of men in a fashion that is actually appealing to men. They either want to hijack your day and make it a family event (Nooooo!) or convince you there are already days to celebrate men ({coughs into hand} Bullshit!).
    1. Super Bowl? WRONG! Maybe for the first 30 of them. But now they involve festivities which include family, preparations, shopping, etc. The last thing you get to do with the Super Bowl is watch football.
    2. Birthday? NOT EVEN. As most men can attest, they already have all the ties, socks, and sports memorabilia trinkets they want to spend their money on. And most have had enough cake, ice cream, and birthday song serenades to last a lifetime already. If the day is about you but involves nothing that you really want or enjoy, is it really about you? I think not!
    3. Father’s Day? HA! The sympathy holiday of all sympathy holidays. Unlike Mother’s Day, where the sentiment is to give Mom a break for the day to show her your appreciation, Father’s Day involves cooking out (by the man), having family over (to visit the man), and other things that require Dad’s participation. Why can't Dad get a break for the day like Mom does for hers?
  3. No planning or organization. Simplicity is the beauty of this holiday. Planning and organization turns it into just another holiday. So keep it simple. Nothing more involved than deciding where and what you want for meals. Call up a buddy and do lunch, golf, or axe throwing. But nothing more involved than that.
  4. No input from the spouse. Involving the spouse is a double-edged sword. Discussing Men’s Day with the spouse subliminally speaks to her about the importance of the day to you, and dooms your prospects of ever enjoying this day. Involving the spouse = planning and organization, and that is simply forbidden. So don’t do it!
  5. No meal preparations. All meals are to come from your eateries of choice; delivery or dine-in, but take-out because that’s too involved. However, you are free to help yourself to a giant bowl of cereal, leftover pizza, or a kick-ass homemade sandwich.
  6. Take the day off or don’t. The beauty of Men’s Day is that you can do what you want with regards to working. If you enjoy working or use it as an excuse to leave the house, then by all means, go to work. But if you have an empty house and just want to enjoy the nothingness of this wonderful day, you can do that too.
  7. No social media. Social media posts make Men’s Day a target. Don’t let them know you enjoyed it or they will take it away, or worse; they’ll hijack it. Should that happen then Men’s Day will be another day that you have to help deep-clean the house, move things from storage, return things to storage, and last-minute trips to the store to pick up a vegetable tray.

It's a day for you, so celebrate and do NOTHING!

Then Thursday, it's back to normal, and you should probably get your wife some flowers to apologize for "your attitude" on Wednesday. Thursday is also known as "Put 'Em Back in Her Purse" Day.

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