I can't think of a more Midwestern story than this, and I imagine the onlookers would agree.

Officers were called to the Petro Deli in Shawnee County, Kansas, which the Sheriff's Office explained in a statement.

"A 17-year-old male was naked and under the influence of a substance." Not a big deal, because who hasn't been there?

According to the statement, the teen then proceeded to dump ranch dressing on himself until he was covered, before going in and damaging property inside the business.

Shawnee County Sheriff's Office
Shawnee County Sheriff's Office

When he was finish busting up the joint, he ran back outside and jumped into a running vehicle, and drove into a pillar.

The statement said the kid was apprehended and taken to the hospital, later being released to his parents.

Luckily, nobody was injured by the naked-ranch vandal.

Read more at Kansas.com

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