Where Have You Gone, Bathroom Attendant?
While my wife and I were taking yet another marathon walking tour of the Quad Cities last week, I stumbled across this nostalgic piece of yesteryear; The coin-operated cologne spritzer! Yes, that's right gentlemen, for just a quarter, you can dial up the perfect amount of good-smelling ladykiller to help you seal the deal!
Now, with this machine-age marvel, I can smell just like an expensive model at the department store! And it's as easy to operate as a coin-operated car wash. There were other wall-mounted vending supplies that might also come in handy as I exited the bathroom for my night at a special someone's boudoir, but a photo of those light land me in a meeting with the boss after work. Let's just say there's no such thing as "subtle" when you're trying to separate a guy from his quarters!
Back to my cologne spritzer. I was somewhat curious. How close to I stand when I hit the plunger if I just wanted it to mist all over me? How close to the brand-name spray was the stuff going to smell like? Doesn't cologne go bad after sitting awhile? What if I got it in my eyes accidentally? And finally, where was the last time I actually had a real bathroom attendant offer me a spray of lady-lure?
I swear I remember when Dancers was the hot spot at the Steeplegate in Davenport, there was a guy set up by the sinks with his array of cologne bottles and some towels from the dispenser ready for you. Working for tips, keeping us all presentable on Friday and Saturday nights. Am I crazy? Were there any other places where this was a thing?
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