Police in Fairbanks, Alaska were tipped off about a couple paying with a counterfeit $100 bill at an adult store. The guy stayed behind to deal with the cops, but his 31-year-old girlfriend Chelsea Sperry drove off.

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When the cops pulled her over they found she had a suspended license, so they took her in. When she got to jail, an officer noticed she was, "making furtive movements toward her vagina", so they gave her a body scan.

That's when they found she had stuff hidden in both orifices down there. A female cop fished out $890 in counterfeit money from Chelsea's lady parts and a real $10 bill from her rectum. To her credit, she figured out a great way to keep her counterfeit money and her real money separate for quick reference.

They also found more than 40 small baggies of meth, heroin, and morphine in her lady parts. Why is the word "cavernous" floating around in my head right now? She was hit with felony narcotics and forgery charges.

Read more at The Smoking Gun.