A cop in Enid, Oklahoma pulled John Wayne Kellerman over for speeding last week. When he walked up to the car, he realized the Kellerman was mostly naked, wearing a thong, and covered in Vaseline.

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According to the police report, the 54-year-old's hands, arms, and legs were all lubed up, there was a porno mag on the passenger's seat, and a nearly empty jar of Vaseline was sitting out.

When the cop asked what he was up to, he admitted he'd been pleasuring himself while driving. Why even try to lie, right?

His ID was also covered in Vaseline. So when he handed it to the cop, he offered him a rag to wipe it off with. The cop didn't know what else he'd been using that rag for, so he declined.

It turned out John's license got revoked way back in 1985. He's spent 27 years in jail since then for various crimes. Now he's facing charges for speeding and driving without a license.

Garfield County Sheriff's Office

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