Vegan-Friendly Alternatives to Offensive Phrases

Gone are the days of "bringing home the bacon." Now, to keep the vegans happy, we'll be saying things like: "bringing home the bagels."

If you're sick of the whole PC movement, then this list won't be for you. PETA suggests using these alternative terms that they deemed vegan-friendly and cruelty-free.

Frankly, I'm offended by how lame they are:

• Instead of: "Kill two birds with one stone."
  Say: "Feed two birds with one scone."
• Instead of: "Take the bull by the horns."
  Say: "Take the flower by the thorns."
• Instead of: "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
  Say: "There's more than one way to peel a potato."
• Instead of: "Let the cat out of the bag."
  Say: "Spilled the beans."
• Instead of: "Be the guinea pig."
  Say: “Be the test tube.”
• Instead of: "Opened a can of worms."
  Say: "Opened Pandora's box."
• Instead of: "All your eggs in one basket."
  Say: "All your berries in one bowl."
• Instead of: "Beating a dead horse."
  Say: "Feeding a fed horse."