Results Of The 2022 2Dorks Celebrity Pinewood Derby

Well, the 2022 Edition of the 2Dorks Celebrity Pinewood Derby has come to a close, and while not everyone is happy with their final results, we have emerged with a new champion.

In some kind of stroke of luck or possibly just to spite Dwyer, Megan came through with a large lead in both the preliminary race and the final to become the new morning show champion.

For the first time in the history of the 2Dorks Celebrity Pinewood Derby, not only was Dwyer unsuccessful in taking first place, but TWO of the morning show cars didn't cross the finish line - both Dwyer AND Michaels finished, or sort of earned themselves a DNF.

After Megan's win, she decided to write a poem. She called it, 'Twas The Night Before Derby.'

Check out the full derby here:

Morning Show Race Results

5th Place - Dwyer  "The Eliminator"

The two-year champion has lost his streak. Even worse than that, he came in dead last.

"F*cking f*ck f*ck sh** Godd***** no idea what the f*ck happened... but congrats to what's her name." -Dwyer

When he said his car was "The Emilinator" we didn't know he was talking about himself...

Dwyer waited until the last minute to build his car. He was up late Thursday night working on his loser. He decided to make bacon while he was building. Yummm.

4th Place - Michaels "The Bluesmobile" 

"I'm pretty pleased. Another top 5 finish!" -Michaels

Michaels was working on his car weeks in advance. He wanted to make sure it was the best-looking one on the show!

The speaker on top, although looks real and heavy, is actually made out of two medicine bottles!

3rd Place - Hairball "Happy Toyz Truck"

Not every day you see a semi racing in a derby!

"My only goal for my first derby was to beat Michaels." -Hairball

"Thank you Janelle for doing all the heavy lifting with your 3D printer!" -Hairball

This was Hairball's original concept drawing. As you can see, he is an ARTIST!

2nd Place - Goose "Block and Roll"

"I'm proud that the hard work I put into this vehicle paid off with a second-place victory!" -Goose

As you can see, Goose laid an egg because this car is fresh out his box.

1st Place - Megan "Bubble-07"

"I would like to say thank you to Michaels for rounding my tub with his big saw. Thank you to Hairball for letting me borrow his tools. Thank you to Goose for always being nice to me. And to Dwyer, GET WRECKED!" -Megan

"I got the idea Bubble-07 from James Bond possessing the 007 Licence to Kill... Which is what I wanted to do to Dwyer's car. But honestly, his car killed itself." -Megan

"Being the only female in the studio (and sometimes the building) I dedicated my car to all the ladies who were watching. Also, shout out to Emma!" -Megan

"I had to keep my car in the freezer because the clear glue I used to make the water didn't dry. I used blue sparkles to make the water look pretty and pearls for the bubbles. The faucet is an earring and paperclip." -Megan

Until next year! 

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