Here’s The Dumbest Place To Open Another Car Wash
Driving around the fine metropolis of Bettendorf, Iowa, one would get the impression we have the dirtiest cars on the planet. In an already crowded car wash corridor in a 3 block span along Devil's Glen Rd., yet another will open up shop in the car wash location that started it all.
It was back in the 1900's when there was but one car wash king on Devil's Glen Rd. I think it was a Super-Wash or Captain Clean, right there between Rudy's and The Shell Station, sort of across from Hy-Vee. Back then, the addition of a multiple bay self-serve car wash, along with two attendant-assisted automatics spelled the end of the two rickety ol' single-tunnel gas station washes further down devil's Glen.
After all, the new high-pressure washes removed the grime (and sometimes more!) faster and cheaper than their spinning plastic counterparts. And so it was for about 15 years that the "Captain" tended to the needs of harried moms on their way to soccer practice, and weekend detailers alike.
But we are a fickle bunch here in B-town, and soon there was a new Sheriff in town. Power Wash built just up Devil's Glen, and added additional bays, with more automatic choices, including something called "Soft-cloth." It was flashy, and new, and soon the ol' Captain had to put his ship in dry dock, close up the car wash and put the for sale sign on the building.
While that empty building got older, and the weeds grew through the cracks of the concrete, other car wash locations sprouted within a stones' throw. Something called "Xpress" which couldn't offer more wash bays, decided that speed was the marketing agent missing from Devil's Glen and brought the 3 minute wash. Oh, and for some reason they added dog washing to their repertoire.
So, if you're keeping score, there are now 2 car wash locations (And dog washing, too) in the shadow of the original. We're good, right? No--Bettendorf, you are dirty, dirty people. While the original location was occupied by a slightly-less-than-fly-by-night hail dent repair place, Kwik Star comes along and throws their car wash hat into the ring. We have a new number on the tote board: 2 tunnel washes, 3 automatics and 4 bays.
Now, in Kwik Star's defense, car washing is one of a billion things they offer, and it was probably just included in the building plan called for based on space available. Try the fried chicken tenders! Anyway, back to our story.
Let's circle back to the original wash location and see...what's this? A New car wash coming soon? Well, thank God, we'll finally get what our cars need around here: something called "Extreme" I wish them good luck--and hope to have my dog 'extreme' washed soon.