Man Busted Pleasuring Himself in Park Blames It on a Groundhog
I feel bad for the shadows that this groundhog must've seen. Police in Louisville, Kentucky got a call on Thursday about a guy pleasuring himself in the bushes.
When they got there, 53-year-old Robert McCoy tried to get away on his moped. The officers quickly caught him and I'm glad they did, because he gave one hell of an explanation for what happened.
Robert told them he was peeing in the bushes when suddenly, he was startled by a groundhog. His pants fell down and he accidentally turned and exposed himself to the other people in the park.
Even though that's an airtight alibi that makes perfect sense, the cops didn't buy it. Robert was arrested for sexual abuse and it turns out that he's a registered sex offender.
Read more at Louisville Courier-Journal.