FATMAN, Mel Gibson’s New Flick Where He Plays Contract Killer, Santa Clause

I never was on the naughty list, but apparently there's a 3rd list for the very naughty: Santa's Hit List.

Mel Gibson dons the red suit and beard for this new film where he plays a Santa that's fed up with the world, so he's up for the job when the government asks him to take out a few key targets posing a threat.

"Some kids put 2 holes in the sleigh and one in me. All I have is loathing for a world that's forgotten."

If you think about it, Santa would be the best contract killer. Forgetting the "travelling to every home in one night" part, he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so you better be good, for goodness sake.

When one hitman shows up to try and take him out, he asks him, "You think you're the first? You think I got this job because I'm fat and jolly?"

Fatman is set to hit select theaters November 13th, and will be available digitally November 17th. 

This is a terrible idea, but it's so bad it might be a new Christmas favorite.