Woman Crushing Watermelons Between Her Legs

Now THIS is the kind of woman you bring home to mom.  Preferably during a family reunion/picnic type gathering.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Olga."

"Dad...stay the hell away from Olga.  You don't need this kind of heat."

Eventually they will have a name for this type of fetish.  They'll call it the Gallagher Complex.  And I may be patient zero!