44-year-old Christopher Hucko went to an adult store in Orland Park, Illinois a few weeks ago, and shoved a $48 sex toy down his pants. An employee saw him and called the police.

A cop showed up and found Christopher leaving the store. According to the police report, he spotted, "a large bulge in his pants." When the cop asked what it was, Christopher said, "My penis."

Then he offered to show the cop a tattoo of a cherry on his junk. The cop searched him, arrested him, and took him to jail. That's when Christopher's agenda apparently changed from stealing a sex toy to complaining about President Obama.

While the cops tried to read him his rights, he stripped naked in his holding cell, started ranting about Obama, and signed his name as, "Obama is a criminal" on a form. He's facing a felony charge of retail theft. Thanks, Obama.

(Orland Park Police Department)