How Not to Remove a Wasp Nest

We have these cicada killer wasps in the yard, and while I love to watch them work, (They capture a large insect, and fly down to the ground, where their nests are located) I hate having them in the yard.

And rather than sneak up on them with a can of wasp aerosol I like to just MOVE them out of the neighborhood, so to speak.

Here's one in action:

So here was my idea: A little smoke, and the lawnmower to remove them from their underground nest, then while they are away, spray the surrounding area with peppermint to discourage them from returning. Yeah--maybe this plan would work on bunnies, or small children--but not these vicious killers. First the smoke, burned a few cattails and flipped a bowl upside down over the nest to agitate them...then, roll the running lawn mower over the entrance so they would be sucked up and thrown to the wind. I mean, think about it--wouldn't you be disoriented if all that happened to you? Hell, in college, after a little smoke I couldn't navigate well-lit streets, surely these insects would just go away, right?

Well, nobody told these cats that rule...they started shooting out of the lawnmower, and the ones that were still intact were pissed. They made a freaking bee-line (pardon the expression) right for the idiot at the lawnmower's handle. So I start screaming and waving my hands in front of my face, but there are a LOT of them...so I let go of the mower, and run up the hill to the house. I can hear these bastards buzzing around my face, and I know they are getting caught in my Fabio-like hair, so I change directions and head for the pool. If these f***ers want to kill me, they're gonna drown trying.

While I am fleeing for my life, the lawnmower is now roiling down the rest of the embankment that sits in my yard. If you know me you already know I have removed every last safety device front eh mower, so instead of the blade brake halting the beast, I have a bungee cord wrapped around the handle so the mower keeps going til it's out of gas. I'm in the pool, peeking like an alligator with just my eyes out of the water, while angry wasps circle their home and the mower is resign in a wildflower bed, chewing up milkweed, black-eyed susans, and pebbles into the neighbors yard.

Next time I'll just buy the freaking spray.