Gifts Men Actually Want for Valentine’s Day

There was a discussion on Reddit where actual guys said what they want for Valentine's Day. Maybe it'll give you a few ideas. Or not. These are their actual words.

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"A couples' deep tissue massage, about an hour in the steam room, ice cold beer, a medium-rare porterhouse, baked potato, mushroom, salad dinner, and relax to an action movie of my choice."
"I personally prefer experiences over material objects. Make me dinner, give me a gift certificate that says I can tie you up and have my way with you, or take me on a road trip."
"A Darth Vader onesie."
"Things that I'll use. A nice wallet, sunglasses, Chapstick, a nice coffee cup."
"Something that gets me a little closer to my dreams or hobbies."
"The greatest gift is that my old lady and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day."
"Enthusiastic oral sex."
"Kinky sex. Seriously, it may sound cheap or insincere but, as a man, there is nothing I want more than to have it my way on Valentine's Day."
"Two tickets to see my favorite team play."
"A day with my girlfriend alone, no clocks, no cellphones, only her and sex."