Waste Your Day Searching the Database of Accidents
I recently read a story about the number of people who've lost fingers because they stuck their hand(s) into running snow blowers.
But, in reading the story I found something bigger. The US Consumer Product Safety Commission's injury database. This thing is a searchable record of injuries in the US since 1991. You can search by injury type, body part, and type of product causing the injury.
To search by product (which is the most fun) you have to get the product code from this list:
Search down the list for, say "drinking straws". The code number is 0443. Plug that number into the database and select which year you want to look at:
When you hit enter, it'll kick back 30 random cases that you can view online, or you can download the entire list of cases for that year. Here are a few "drinking straw" accidents, 0443-drinking straws:
"7YO WHITE MALE DOING EXPERIMENT TO SEE IF COULD GET ROCK OUT OF EAR WITH STRAW, ROCK STUCK IN EAR, DX STONE IN L TYMPANIC EAR CANAL"
"87YOF DROPPED A PILE OF DRINKING STRAWS ON THE FLOOR AND STEPPED ON THEM AND FELL ONTO BUTTOCKS. CONTUSION TO BUTTOCKS"
"34YOM SWALLOWED A BEE THROUGH A STRAW AND WAS STUNG IN THE MOUTH"
"16YOM WAS TRYING TO SUCK UP A GAME PIECE OFF THE CARPET W A STRAW WHEN GAME PIECE LODGED IN HIS ESOPHAGUS"
How about musical instruments? See if you can spot the people who don't feel like practicing.
"13YOM AT BAND CAMP BLOWING A TROMBONE FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME AND
DEVELOPED A "SEVERE" HEADACHE TREATED FOR HEADACHE"
"56YOF DROPPED MUSICAL INSTRUMENT (METAL TRIANGLE) ON FOOT CAUSING CONTUSION L FOOT"
"17YOM PLAYING IN BAND LAST NIGHT, JUMPED OFF STAGE "ROCKING OUT" C/O L HEEL PAIN"
"22 YO M WAS PLAYING BASS IN BAND WHEN DID PSEUDO SPLITS AND FELT PATELLA MOVE SIDEWAYS. DX: PATELLA DISLOCATION."
"12 YOF STRAIN TO LEFT WRIST S/P PLAYING THE TAMBOURINE AT CHURCH"
"4 YO M PT AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE AND SHE FOUND PT PUTTING A DRUM STICK UP HIS RECTUM."
"13YOF C/O ARM PAIN, THINKS ITS FROM CARRYING A TUBA."
"18YOM BENT OVER&GOT; A DRUM STICK UP HIS NOSE, NO WITH BLEEDING >>EPISTAXIS"
"57 Y MALE WAS OUTSIDE PLAYING FLUTE, BECAME DIZZY W FALL, ADMITS DRINKING 1 GLASS OF WINE"
A word of caution... this is a list of EVERYTHING (serious accidents, accidents involving babies, and fatalities). Most are legit and not funny. In other words, you'll have to sift through a lot of gun shot injuries before you stumble onto a case where a guy used a rifle to shoot a wart off of his big toe.
Same goes for searching by body part. There's a lot of disturbing stuff under "pubic region" and only a few like this:
"21YO PT SUSTAINED FOREIGN BODY TO PENIS AFTER INSERTING A SCREW INTO HIS URETHRA"