A mall security guard in Greenville, South Carolina was driving through the parking lot last week, when he saw 21-year-old Kaitlin Lawrence running around topless.

When he slowed down to talk to her, she opened the back door of his car, hopped inside, and tried to choke him out from behind. He wound up driving straight into a handicapped parking sign, that got her to loosen her grip, so he could get away.

Some of the other mall cops handcuffed her and covered her up. You know they've been dreaming of that day since they got the gig.

She seemed really drunk and smelled like alcohol, and when they asked her why she'd just done what she did, she said it was because she rode horses five years ago and that she had fallen from a roof.

Even though that makes total sense, she was arrested by the real cops for assault and battery.

Greenville County Detention Center

Read more at WSPA.