From the earliest days of St. Valentine's day, when St. Valentine himself would sneak into homes at midnight to sprinkle Viagra and lingerie, ladies have always had the better of this holiday.

Unfortunately, as the centuries have progressed, this gift gap has only increased. For the fairer sex, chocolates and massages and flowers and jewelry have become the order of the day, while for us guys, we're happy just to have the love of the most beautiful woman we have ever seen. That's just how we are.

Now, I feel like wit all the requirements for gift-giving guys, we need financial assistance. I'm not advocating for plasma donation, or a payday loan. Even the pawn shop has no place here (although they do have some great last-minute sexy gift ideas).  I'm proposing a date switch.

Valentine's Day should now be on February 16th, not the 14th as it currently sits. What kind of cruel society would ask its male population to try and buy a last-minute gift that looks like you put a lot of thought into it, and only give us the funds that are left in the tank two weeks AFTER payday, when moving it to the 16th puts us at our gift-giving-best 1 day after payday.

I believe this small change would bring back the economic liberty we need to provide our ladies with the gifts to which they've become accustomed!