Apparently this woman was getting prepared to have more sex in the next few years than I've had in my entire life.

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25-year-old Shaearion Davis from East St. Louis, Illinois was busted stealing Trojan condoms from a grocery store on Tuesday afternoon, a lot of Trojan condoms.

Shaearion stole 31 boxes of 'em. And since Trojans come in packs of anywhere from 10 to 36, that means she was stealing enough to get-it-on between 310 and 1,116 times before those condoms expire in a few years. Now that's impressive.

She's been charged with felony retail theft. If she'd just stolen a couple fewer boxes, she'd only be looking at a misdemeanor, but those 31 boxes crossed the $300 threshold, which pushed the charge up to a felony in Illinois.

Now she's looking at up to five years in prison.

St. Claire County Sheriff's Office

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