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Funny and Inspiring Marijuana Quotes to Get Potheads Through 4/20

You’re going to hear a lot about pot today. If you’re not aware, 4/20 is the unofficial holiday in celebration of marijuana.

Here’s a collection of quotes that all you stoners can scrawl into your journal or post on your Facebook. Some of them are funny and others might inspire you.

Getty Images
Getty Images

“When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.”Bob Marley / Musician, Activist

“Make the most you can of the Indian Hemp seed and sow it everywhere.”George Washington / 1st U.S. President

“I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?”Willie Nelson / Musician, Writer, Actor, Activist

“Alcohol and marijuana, if used in moderation, plus loud, usually low-class music, make stress and boredom infinitely more bearable.”Kurt Vonnegut / Novelist

“I don’t consider weed to be any worse than having a beer.”James Franco / Actor, Filmmaker, Professor, and Writer

“Of course I know how to roll a joint.”Martha Stewart / TV Personality, Writer, Business Woman

“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”Bill Hicks /Comedian

“In our culture, the Native Americans, when two strangers come together. You know what we do in our culture? We smoke the peace pipe.”Tatanka / WWF Wrestler

[in reply to Tatanka] “Really? My people do the same thing.”Rob Van Dam / WWF Wrestler

“I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it.”Andy Warhol / Artist

“I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits -and millions of Americans agree with me.”Hunter S. Thompson /Journalist, Novelist

“Marijuana is quite possibly the finest of intoxicants. It has been scientifically proven, for decades, to be much less harmful to the body than alcohol when used on a regular basis (Google “Science”).”Nick Offerman / Actor, Writer, Carpenter

“I don’t really care who’s doing drugs in the NBA as long as the scene isn’t adversely affecting my team and teammates. I’ve known enough drug users–going as far back as grade school and the streets of New York–not to view them as pariahs or lost souls. I’ve certainly smoked more than my quota of weed.”Kareem Abdul-Jabbar / Center for L.A. Lakers

“Smoking helped put me in touch with the realm of the senses.”Hugh Hefner /Founder of Playboy Magazine

“I don’t think [pot] is more dangerous than alcohol.”Barack Obama / 44th U.S. President

“Why use up the forests which were centuries in the making and the mines which required ages to lay down, if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in the annual growth of the hemp fields?”Henry Ford / Founder of Ford Motor Company

“I got high, and forgot I wasn’t supposed to get high.”Ricky Williams / Running Back for Miami Dolphins

“It would be wryly interesting if in human history the cultivation of marijuana led generally to the invention of agriculture, and thereby to civilization.”Carl Sagan /Astronomer

“I think that marijuana should not only be legal, I think it should be a cottage industry. It would be wonderful for the state of Maine. There’s some pretty good homegrown dope. I’m sure it would be even better if you could grow it with fertilizers and have greenhouses.”Stephen King / Contemporary Horror and Suspense

“Homer, I am getting really worried you are going overboard with this. We are out of clothespins, there are half-eaten cupcakes all around the house, and the curtains smell like doob.”Marge Simpson / The Simpsons

“It’s not just the over $8 billion that we would be saving in law enforcement; it’s also the over $8 billion that we would be making by taxing marijuana… We are filling our jails with nonviolent drug offenders — predominantly young, predominantly African American… It’s a great beyond left and right issue. It has support across the political spectrum and also the support of the majority of the American people.”Arianna Huffington / Founder of The Huffington Post

“Well, Stan, the truth is marijuana probably isn’t gonna make you kill people, and …it most likely isn’t gonna fund terrorism, but… Well son, pot makes you feel fine with being bored and… It’s when you’re bored that you should be learning some new skill or discovering some new science or… being creative. If you smoke pot you may grow up to find out that you aren’t good at anything.”Randy / South Park

“Eliminating criminal penalties for personal drug use and possession is an essential feature of a public health response to drugs and drug misuse, and APHA calls on state and federal governments to remove such criminal penalties… [J]urisdictions that have legalized medical marijuana, decriminalized possession of marijuana and/or other drugs, or tolerated limited, retail sales…have not experienced significant, if any, increases in marijuana or other drug use.”American Public Health Association

“I have found in my study of these patients that cannabis is really a safe, effective and non-toxic alternative to many standard medications. There is no such thing as an overdose. We have seen very minimal problems with abuse or dependence, which at worst are equivalent to dependence on caffeine. While a substance may have some potential for misuse, in my opinion, that’s a poor excuse to deny its use and benefit to everyone else.”Philip Denney, MD / Physician and co-founder of a medical cannabis evaluation practice

“Everything is better with a bag of weed.”Stewie Griffin / Family Guy

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