Christmas Classic “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is Actually Pretty Disturbing
We're quickly approaching the point where we won't get to enjoy anything from our childhoods. Now the classic "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" animation is evil.
Cinema Blend listed the "7 Disturbing Truths We Must Accept About Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" and they'll probably worsen your holiday depression.
- Santa Thought Rudolph Was an Abomination. Santa was as disgusted by Rudolph's shiny nose as everyone else. He even told Rudolph's dad he should be ashamed.
- Hermey the Elf Was a Sadistic Psychopath. He was obsessed with becoming a dentist and gleefully yanked out every last one of the Abominable Snowman's teeth.
- The Elves May Have Been Inbreeding. With a few exceptions, all of the elves look the same. The isolated location severely limits the dating pool.
- The Job Rate of Reindeer in the North Pole Is Astronomically Low. All the reindeer start training at an early age to pull Santa's sleigh. How many job opportunities are there? Eight.
- Yukon Cornelius Was Mentally Unstable. This one's pretty self-explanatory.
- Rudolph's Family Missed the Bulk of His Childhood. Not to mention the fact that Rudolph's father was a jerk to him before he ran away.
- Clarice and Rudolph Had an Incredibly Shallow Relationship. She told him he was cute once when they were little kids. Years later, he returns to rescue her, and now they're a thing.
The entire theme of the movie is supposed to be about accepting people for who the are. It ends up being more like: the only way for a misfit to gain acceptance is to have something to offer.